Hopes & Dreams

A letter to anyone struggling, including myself.

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I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was very young. I entered a short story competition at school. I didn’t win. Worse, I was bullied for even daring to think I was good enough to enter. Other kids called me a dirty gyppo because I was brought up in a caravan. People like me weren’t allowed to dream big. A group of boys held my arms as one hit me on the head with a chair. I wasn’t badly hurt but I was terrified. 

 

It felt like the end of the world. 

But it wasn’t.

I had a huge crush on a lad at school for ages. I sent him a Valentine’s Day card. I was thrilled to get one in return – only to find the card I’d sent him ripped to shreds inside the envelope.

 

It felt like the end of the world.

But it wasn’t.

My mum tried to stab me.

 

That felt like the end of the world.

Luckily, it wasn’t.

All the horrible things: my husband left me; I lost my job; I was badly injured in a car crash; my best friend stopped speaking to me; every one of the dozens and dozens of rejection letters for my writing; when my dad died; never having the baby I so desperately wanted; the pandemic -

 

It all felt like the end of the world at the time.

But it wasn’t.

 

Many times, I’ve felt like ending it myself. A couple of times I’ve tried.

But it’s not the end yet.

 

In the darkness there is always light. If it’s hard to see, we need to look with better eyes. In the morning things shift and feel different. A smile, a hug, a purr, a sunny day, a ‘yes’ – anything can make things just a little better.

 

Keep going. No matter how hard it may seem. Even if you feel it’s the end of the world.

It is not the end.

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Tina Baker, author of Number 1 Kindle bestseller Call Me Mummy.